Hi everyone. I’m pretty new to Coast and I wanted to share my testimony with you. Specifically, my recent experience with Sozo at Coast.
A little background on me. I, like a lot of people experienced childhood trauma. Some of the ways I struggled in my adult life because of this childhood trauma was a difficulty regulating emotions, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, problems in my interpersonal relationships, a failed marriage, and several unhealthy coping mechanisms. I sought out therapy for many years. I think I had eight different therapists over the course of 30 years. I have tried EMDR, body work, Cognitive Behavioral therapy, hypnotherapy, mindfulness, PTSD treatment and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I did learn new healthy skills, but I wasn’t able to heal the core wounds. I worked hard at my mental health, and it was frustrating because for all the hard work, I still felt I was on a hamster wheel with my struggles.
On the outside, it looked like I had it all together, three beautiful children, a great career, smiling on the outside, but inside I was in so much pain. I prayed for many years for God to heal me but over time I came to accept the lie that this was my fate, that I was destined to live in inner turmoil for all my life.
I came to know Jesus in my teens, but I didn’t have a strong walk, nor did I attend church regularly. I tried to attend a few churches, but nothing really took. I did enjoy listening to different sermons online from various churches. Earlier this year, I stumbled upon Coast Christian Fellowship’s online services. It was like no other. Every message really resonated with my Spirit. Often, I would get words and they would be confirmed in the messages shared by Pastor Joe. One day, Pastor Eric shared that he had a dream the night before about a woman struggling because as a child her father was in and out of her life and today there is this missing part and this feeling of uncertainty because of a seed that was planted by her father. He mentioned poor decision-making finding men. He said that the woman knows this but that she hasn’t had a breakthrough yet and that he believes that God wants to bring healing and sever all ties and agreements she had with who God is as protector and provider in her life. He wants to set you free in that area he said. He also said that the dream was for more than one woman and particularly a woman watching online.
At that moment, holding my phone in my hand, I burst into tears because it was as if God was speaking directly to me. I had a failed marriage and now a relationship that was on the brink and I felt my heart was bursting because I just knew I found my church finally and I found the pathway to the healing I had been searching for. I started coming to Coast and when they announced the Sozo ministry, I immediately signed up.
But before I share about my Sozo experience, I want to say a little more about how instrumental and encouraging the prophetic prayer ministry has been in my life. I mentioned I didn’t attend a church, but from time to time I would go to PIHOP for Prophetic prayer. I was blown away by some of the things that were said to me. For example, one of my fears is that my son would grow to follow in my dad’s footsteps and a woman asked me if I had a son and encouraged me to continue disciplining him and carving out boundaries for him. Another women knew that I had a career in finance without me mentioning anything, and she told me that I would do new and innovative types of kingdom type business. Another person told me that my testimony had a special anointing, and I was going to help people who have struggled in similar ways to me. All of these things were true weapons in times of despair and low points in my life. I think they saved my life actually.
Back to healing, when I signed up for Sozo, I didn’t know what to expect. But after two sessions, I feel that Sozo was the missing puzzle piece to my journey on healing. It addressed the core issues that were triggering bad behaviors. With the help of Sonia and Mercedes, and the Holy Spirit guiding us, we were able to identify those lies that I had been standing in agreement with about not being wanted since I was a unplanned pregnancy, we prayed for the baby in the womb, and spoke God’s truth over that, that God knew me in my mother’s womb and created me in His image. We broke other agreements that I came to believe as a child because of the abuse I witnessed, neglect, addiction and abandonment due to the incarceration of my father. Also, we addressed the sin wounds that were covered with guilt and shame that I discovered stood in the way of my intimacy with God. Mentally I knew I was forgiven for my sins, but in my heart, I hadn’t forgiven myself for one particular sin. God revealed that to me in the session. I had buried in deep down with denial. Something about the process of confessing it to others and bringing it to the light and having God’s Word confirm it really freed me. It was then I had my breakthrough and saw GOD’s FACE for the first time in my life. And in that vision while sitting on the Sozo couch, God handed me a bright, beautiful new heart. He handed it to me! Halleluiah! We prayed and declared that all past and present lies, and agreements be broken in my family line before and after me. The enemy was kicked out of my family. It was deliverance, freedom, and healing and it was beautiful.
What came next was truly amazing to me. In my discussions with my sister and mother, I was able to let the Holy Spirit guide me, and I had breakthroughs with each of them. We were able to talk about some deep things we hadn’t before discussed. Because I am different now. I am softer and more loving, less defensive, no longer triggered.
In closing, I’m excited about the future. I’m no longer operating life from a Spirit of Fear…fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of intimacy, fear of my own emotions. I’m more present than I’ve ever been. I’m able to walk now. What I mean by that is I’m not held hostage by my core wounds. There will still be good and bad days, I will still have to work at things, but I feel every day is getting brighter and brighter. I hope the same and more for you or your loved one if they choose to sign up for Sozo. Blessings and love.
I’ve had three sozos so far this year. Going into the appointments, sometimes I didn’t even feel the Spirit, 10, 20 min into it but I noticed that the more I broke off the lies, the more that I pushed through and stopped caring about trying so hard, by the end of the time, I would feel lighter and could sense the Spirit with me. I have dealt with a lot of pain and hurt from the past form my parents and community, with rejection, abandonment, and experienced a lot of anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness towards a lot of people in my life.
It got to such a bad season where I was completely numb to feeling emotions and was wearing a mask of happiness to hide what was really happening. I’ve been working though some things on my own, but coming to the Sozo really provided the space and resources to move deeper and really knock out what the enemy was trying to feed me for so many years.
It was a lot of tears and letting go and pain, but living in the weeks after, it has been a time of refreshment and rest from the lies. I’ve really come to accept what the Lord has spoken over me 🙂